break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
please come you make the beer taste better
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
