I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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