hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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