They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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