nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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