Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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