Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
