I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he was CRYING into my vagina
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
