They should really pass out barf bags in church
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon