I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
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it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
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The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.