watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.