Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.