i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life