good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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