So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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