Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
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i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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