I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
