chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
