Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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