while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
