who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
