Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
