I wish I only lived at night.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
