We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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