vagina is talking i cant
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Terrible idea I love it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
