all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just want to make out with him forever
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
