He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
