so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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