Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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