i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
