therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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