Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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