Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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