We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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