ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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