I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
