its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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