the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
