i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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