But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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