Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
