what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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