i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
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Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
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We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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