The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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