you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the day after is always just damage control
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
