I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
