I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
