Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
