He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
