Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize