I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
