Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize