saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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