Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
