I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
