don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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