ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize