i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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