Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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