Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
