Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
