Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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