i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
