Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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